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Assassin’s Creed Shadows a Review of Ubisoft’s Most Expensive Joke Yet

Mud June 16, 2025 4 minutes read

I genuinely didn’t think Ubisoft could sink lower, but here we are. Assassin’s Creed Shadows isn’t just bad it’s a borderline scam. A soulless, bloated, broken mess of a game that takes one of the most exciting historical settings imaginable and turns it into a glitch-riddled, lifeless cash vacuum. This isn’t just a disappointment it’s an insult. And just when you think it can’t get worse… it literally stopped launching entirely after the latest update.

Yes, seriously.

A Masterclass in Wasted Potential

We asked for feudal Japan. We got cardboard NPCs in empty towns with the personality of wet drywall. The game world looks pretty in screenshots, but play it for more than 10 minutes and you’ll realize it has all the depth of a mobile ad for a fake RPG.

It’s not immersive it’s decorative. Like a theme park where the rides are broken and the staff forgot how to blink.

The Dual Protagonist Disaster

Ubisoft hyped up Yasuke and Naoe like they were reinventing the wheel. What we got instead is a janky, tone-deaf mess of two clashing gameplay styles duct-taped together. Yasuke’s brute-force brawling makes stealth completely pointless, and Naoe’s supposed “assassin gameplay” is so broken that it feels like you’re fighting the controls more than the enemies.

Ubisoft claimed this was a “return to stealth,” but that’s laughable. Enemies have the awareness of cardboard cutouts, detection systems are broken, and missions often force you into combat anyway. What should be tense infiltrations are turned into predictable, repetitive routines. There’s no creativity or flexibility just dull trial and error.

Neither of them is likable, interesting. and they don’t feel like they belong in the same game or frankly, any game.

Gameplay So Bad It’s Almost Impressive

Stealth? Nonexistent. Combat? Repetitive garbage. Parkour? Somehow worse than the 360 era. Everything in Shadows feels like it was designed by a focus group that’s never played a video game before. You don’t play this game you suffer through it. Mission design is a joke. Enemy AI is broken. The whole experience is an awkward, buggy, unrewarding slog.

The only challenge in Shadows is fighting the urge to uninstall it.

Monetized to no end

You thought maybe there’d be a silver lining in the story, the progression, something? Nope. It’s all just a funnel into Ubisoft’s disgusting live-service economy. Slow grind, bad gear drops, time-wasting fetch quests all engineered to push you toward the microtransaction store, where you can pay to not play the broken mess you already paid full price for.

It’s not even subtle. It’s predatory. And it’s exhausting.

Buggy and Broken

Technically, the game is a disaster. Glitches aren’t occasional they’re constant. I’ve seen floating samurai, dialogue that plays out of order or overlaps, quests that fail to trigger, enemies T-posing mid-fight, and animation rigs collapsing like wet spaghetti.

And Then the Update Came… and Killed the Game

Just when I thought I’d seen everything, Ubisoft drops a “patch” that somehow breaks the game entirely. That’s right — after the latest update, the game just doesn’t open. No error message. No crash log. Just a click and nothing, reinstalling does nothing. They updated the game into nonexistence.

You can’t even suffer through it anymore. You paid for digital air.

Assassin’s Creed Shadows: The game so broken, it assassinated itself

Final Verdict: 0/10 – An Unplayable broken joke

Assassin’s Creed Shadows is the worst kind of failure: one that was predictable, avoidable, and entirely self inflicted. It’s a game that shouldn’t have been released and now, thanks to Ubisoft’s incompetence, it’s not even playable. It’s a glorified store page with a broken .exe file attached.

Ubisoft has outdone itself and not in a good way. Assassin’s Creed Shadows isn’t just a bad game. It’s a masterclass in how to butcher one of the most requested settings in gaming history, while proving beyond doubt that the series has completely lost its soul.

This isn’t a game. It’s a $70 cash grab. Avoid at all costs.

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